Mom: A Lesson in Womanhood

A mom has a million and one things to be responsible for. From the time you are born until you’re old enough to NOT call and ask her where to find Onion Powder in the grocery store she has to make sure that you are fed, clothed, loved, supported, comfortable - but not too comfortable, engaged, educated, healthy - the list goes on and only seems to get longer and longer.

The greatest gift my mom has ever given me is allowing me to be exactly who I want to be. When I was 4 years old I asked her to cut all my hair off and she set up the appointment. When I was 6 I asked her to start buying me boys board shorts and swim shirts (a look I think everyone needs to try once) and she came home with 3 sets. When I was 13 I told her I was going to start growing my hair out and start wearing skirts and she came home with hair products that would help my awkward hair transition that bordered on a mullet. When I was 20 I told her I was gay and she bought pride T shirts for the whole family. Two months later I told her I was cutting my hair off and she helped me research styles I would like.

Part of raising a daughter is guiding her from childhood to womanhood - whatever that means. The definition of womanhood is constantly in flux as we become accepting of alternative lifestyles and expressions of womanhood. At every turn my mom had the opportunity to guide my journey to womanhood in a more traditional direction. When I asked to cut my hair as a young kid, she could have said no. When I asked for clothes from the boys section, she could have steered me back into the girls section. When I told her I was cutting it again, she could have ignored me or asked if I was sure I wanted to do so. But instead she supported an unsteady internal journey and held the flashlight for me so I didn’t have to fumble through the darkness alone trying to find myself.

I am thankful for my mom allowing me to find my sense of womanhood for myself. Like when I was a baby who was just learning how to walk, she picked me up when I fell down, but she let me move on my own accord. Each uneasy step was my own - deciding whether I wanted to go to the couch, or the wall, or the other room, or just sit down. She didn’t care as long as I didn't hit my head. As I continue on the journey finding for myself what it means to be a woman, she walks alongside me. Our definitions of womanhood are never at odds with one another because they are different, rather they move in tandem, pushing one another forward and growing stronger in our connections and our independence.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers who are champions of their children’s individuality. Happy Mother’s Day to those who have lost mothers, to those who hope to be mothers, to mother’s who have lost children, and to mothers who are fighting on the front-lines of the COVID-19 pandemic. We thank you all for creating us, loving us, and always answering our call when we ask for the 10th time how to wash ‘delicates.’